


The Bluest Star

by Secocenne713



Series: The Whitest Universe [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angry Allura (Voltron), Angry Coran (Voltron), Angry Hunk (Voltron), Angry Keith (Voltron), Angry Lance (Voltron), Angry Pidge | Katie Holt, Angry Shiro (Voltron), Gen, How Do I Tag, Hurt Lance (Voltron), I Don't Even Know, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, The team is kind of a dick, YA KNOW WHAT EVERYONE'S ANGRY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 15:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18758983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secocenne713/pseuds/Secocenne713
Summary: A shining blue star can be infected and can die. After a horrifying mission, Lance is left to wonder if he really has a place on the team.





	The Bluest Star

**Author's Note:**

> So this is set after Lotor betrays them and they all get out of the quintessence field, but the castle isn't destroyed and everyone goes back to their original lions. It's just a few weeks after and Voltron has gotten back into the grove of things.
> 
> The Major Character Death tag is there because technically Lance dies like idk man he kinda does he kinda doesnt
> 
> Okay background on this, I low key was accused of some stuff which is like k then,, I didn't btw, and I didn't mean to so I ended up deleting it because it be like that sometimes skskskss anyways so I reworked the story so yeah, enjoy I guess.

*Third Person Omniscient POV*

Stress was high in space among the explosions of battle. Things had gone to shit after a celebration of a newfound alliance was crashed by a Galra division. The alliance had been a trap and the aliens had given their location to the Galra Empire. So, basically everything was fucked and the death toll was rising faster and faster. The paladins were screaming at each other, and Allura was being no help, shouting orders over the comms and not really helping all that much. But, no doubt, she was trying. Lance had gotten on the main Galra ship at the order of the team and was trying his best to make his way to the main control room to blow up the ship from the inside. The others were there too, but they were creating a distraction for him. Somehow, he had managed to convince them he was best for the job, they probably thought he was just expendable.

Shots were flying past the paladins, just barely missing them and even a couple of them hitting, though never in any important place always just grazing them. Except for Lance apparently. With a bang he got shot straight through the stomach, blood spurting out and he let out a yelp in pain. Unfortunately, when he tried to ask for help from his fellow paladins, well, it didn’t really go as well as it should have, “...Um… Hey guys? I know we’re busy and stuff, but I’ve got a situation. Like, a _really_ importa-”

“Shut up, Lance, nobody cares!” Pidge snapped over the com, automatically ignoring him and whatever he was saying. “Just take care of it yourself! And don’t you have a job to do?! Or are you too weak for even that?!”

“But I really need-”

“Lance you can take care of it.” Hunk kept his answer short and kind of sweet. It was nice to know that Hunk wasn’t ready to spit venom at him. “Though you really never really take care of things yourself. Those trips to the principal’s office proved as much.”

And there it was, Lance cringed at the underlying tones and continued stumbling to the control room, egged on by the criticism. He barely made it before collapsing just outside the door. He gasped, before remembering that the other paladins could still hear him.

“What did you find, Lance? A pretty girl?” Keith’s voice was laced with so much sarcasm it hurt.

Lance winced and heaved himself back up. “No, I just tripped a little…”

Shiro scoffed, something he probably did not mean for everyone to hear, but Lance still heard it. It hurt to be scoffed at, especially from the one he looked up too. Lance had gotten enough of that back on Earth. “Lance just focus and get to the control room!”

Lance crawled into a lower floor vent and made his way through to a spot where he could see a way to get up high easily. It was painful, and he was trailing blood after him, but he made it to an upper catwalk as silently as possible. He tried to focus, but with the extra noise from the paladins yelling at him and his swimming vision, it was too much. He switched off the com and set his helmet down carefully next to him. From his position and the newfound silence, he took aim on the silent sentries that hadn’t noticed him coming in. His hands were shaking as he lifted his sleek sniper rifle. It still shook as tears formed in his eyes from the pain of extending his side. He took a deep breath, counted to five, finally steadying the gun, and...

He fired.

The sentries dropped fast and hard, making loud noises that made his ears ring. One by one they fell, not having enough time to even look up at him. Lance dropped down from the catwalk quickly, making sure his helmet was tucked firmly under his arm before starting to arm his modified bomb to the control room. Pidge had originally made it, but Lance had decided that it was not enough time to get out so he programmed it to have more time and more “boom”.

Lance yanked his helmet on after he fully set it, watching the timer start flashing. “Guys, the bomb is set we need to go! Now!”

“Jesus, Lance! We’ve been calling for forever! We’re already out!” Keith, true to his words, was already in the Red Lion flying quickly to the castle.

“Wait, you left me?!”

“Well… When you didn’t respond we thought you chickened out and flew back to the castle…” Hunk muttered, kind of annoyed that they did leave.

“THE RED LION WAS MY ONLY WAY BACK!?” Lance was in shock, how could they have thought something so stupid?! What happened to the prodigal genius!? “How would I have gotten back to the castle!?”

“I don’t know, Lance! Figure it out! You have 10 dobashes before we wormhole! If you can make it sooner, we’ll be out of this graveyard sooner!” Pidge snapped into the com, her tone frustrated and angry.

“But how can I-” Pidge switched him off the coms, Pidge clearly annoyed with his voice so much that she completely switched him off. “Goddammit! What the flying fuck possessed her to turn off the fucking coms when I’m clearly still in a dangerous position?!”

Lance reached out to his lion, feeling her calm, soft presence and calling to her. She automatically responded with her soft pushes, and came flying to his aid. He managed to make his way back to an upper vent and clambered in but not before sentries came in through the door and shot him through the leg and arm. Somehow, limping and crawling he made his way to an airlock and shot himself outside, Blue catching him in her maw.

“Lance! I know you can’t respond but it’s now or never!”

“Goddamn, Hunk! I’m coming!” Lance set his lion on autopilot and started dressing all of his wounds, angry at himself for being so careless.

Blue set down in the hanger and they took off, but not before seeing the entire fleet annihilated in the distance.

“Good job, Pidge! I know you thought the explosion wouldn’t be enough, but you did it!” Shiro complimented her, still clearly being heard over the com, well enough that Lance could hear him speaking even when his helmet was off. Pidge had probably turned up the speakers in his helmet just to rub it in his face. He sat down and started to sob, maybe from pain, and maybe from finally breaking down. The months of abuse that he had to deal with from them was finally catching up to him.

_My Paladin, please calm down…_

“I can’t, Blue! I just can’t deal with this anymore! I want to go home! I just want to go home!” Lance continued to sob and cry, pathetically curling up on the floor. “I don’t want to deal with this shit anymore!”

_My Paladin, please give them a chance…_

“I’ve given them enough chances.”

_Then leave._

“But, Blue…? They need me…?”

_If they don't appreciate you then they don’t deserve you. You need to take a break from the constant abuse that they’ve given you. All of my sisters agree that this is not an ideal position for you._

“What do you mean, Blue…?

_I love you, my paladin, but this is not your true destiny… Is it okay to let the rest of my sisters come, my paladin? They are worried for you…_

“Yeah. I miss them.” All at once their presences made themselves clear in his mind, overwhelming him quickly.

**_CALM YOURSELF, PALADIN._ **

Black’s voice rang through the others, and Lance immediately calmed himself down, listening to the words of the Alpha of the pack.

**Paladin I don’t want you to be hurt, please take better care of yourself.**

**_I agree with Yellow, we’re worried about you little paladin._ **

_Green and Yellow have a point, you need to be more careful._

“Thanks, guys, I don’t know what I would do without you… I’m okay now…”

**_Blue is correct, this is not your destiny, paladin. You have greater things awaiting you. We’ll always be open to you._ **

“I don’t understand…”

**_It is, of course, your choice if you want to leave Voltron to meet destiny, but just know that it is waiting for you… Go, the others are waiting for you. Come to me tonight if you want to know._ **

Lance wiped his tears, changed into casual clothes making sure to pull his hood up, and walked to dinner. He was still confused about what had just happened. What were they talking about? What destiny? Maybe it was an error in translation or something...

As Lance walked into the room, the previously loud and happy dinner table became dead silent, nobody daring to speak. Not even Coran, who spouted endless tales if dinner was silent. It was… Very awkward to say the least. The battle was still fresh on everyone's minds and they were all mad at Lance, they didn’t know what had happened. When Lance walked in, Keith felt his irritation and worry rise. Why was Lance late? He was usually the one who made sure everyone got to dinner on time. Keith scowled at Lance's disheveled appearance. What happened to his stupid arrogant beauty routine?

“Why are you late? Did a facemask spill?”

“...”

“Well?! I’m waiting McClain!” Keith's frustration rose, first, he didn’t bother answering after they told him to take care of himself, now he wasn’t answering now.

Lance flinched at that, his mind taking him back to Iverson, back to his father, back to the pain. His hands started to shake violently, not that anybody noticed. After an incident that involved a public panic attack and ended with Lance sobbing in his room and ignoring them for a week, they had agreed to never use his name like that ever again. To go that far, it hurt, and Lance knew Keith meant for him to hurt.

“That's enough, Keith.” Shiro sighed, rubbing his temples. “Lance, I get that you are… Well, not as busy as the rest of us, but you need to learn to take care of yourself. We also can’t have you throwing a hissy fit when things don't go your way.”

Lance mumbled something that nobody but him could ever understand what it was.

“What did you say?” Pidge snapped tiredly, “Speak up nobody has time to translate!”

“I said, is that really all you think of me?! Is that all you believe that I’ve done?! Who do you think set the bomb?! Who minimized the chance of us being followed through the wormhole?!”

All of them scoffed, except for Coran who had been silent through the entire ordeal, a glint of pride in his eyes.

“You? Yeah, and I’m the president of the USA”

“Well, Keith not all of us are born with the natural ability to automatically cope in the same ways you do! Not all of us are born hating the world and able to adapt to every environment thrown at us! Not all of us automatically assuming things about other people!” Lance was getting more and more furious, anger and disdain growing. “I wasn’t throwing a hissy fit! I wasn’t pouting! I was trying to focus! If you haven’t noticed, it takes concentration to do anything in the middle of a battle while everyone is shooting at you! And it’s fucking disrespectful and rude to assume that I was pouting! I thought we were a family! I thought you understood me! I thought maybe, just maybe we had grown closer and you would have realized I’m not that shitty! Or do you all think that I’m horrible!? Heh, I guess that makes all of us. Fuck this shit! I’m over it all!” The team sat in a stunned silence, Shiro didn’t even correct Lance’s language. Lance had never started shouting before, much less shouting at _them_ . He had never even shown any emotion other than bubbly happiness, at least that they could remember. “You know what? We’re just floating in sp ace now! We aren’t doing anything other than going to the occasional alliance meeting or whatever that shit is. It’s bloody fucking hell out there! I can’t see my fucking family for another couple of months because we need to check on the other coalition members, fight Zarkon, or whatever the hell we’re doing here! I have to deal with this constant abuse! FUCK YOU ALL! Did you all really just assume that I wasn’t capable of any other emotion than _happiness_ ? Am I an animal!? Why did you even leave me behind?! You _knew_ that the only way out was the red lion! You knew! You just didn’t care.”

“Lance, we…”

“No! You don’t get to apologize, you don’t get to argue! You don’t get the right to my feelings after you seemed to forget that I had no way out! Aren’t you supposed to be smart? Prodigies? And you all say that I’m the dumb one! Can’t you tell that there’s more than just technical prodigies?! I’m not the one who left their supposed teammate in a high risk situation! I could have died! Would you have even cared?! Well, you know, it doesn’t matter what I say, _right_?! Don’t you remember exactly what Iverson told me, Hunk?! Don’t you remember the past!? Take a long hard look at the way you’ve been treating me now and remember the past, Hunk, remember me.”

“We didn’t know! We just thought… Don’t speak that way to Hunk!”

“I don’t care what you thought, Pidge! It’s what you assumed! You never asked me! You ignored me! I was the seventh fucking wheel! Again! Solitude! Loneliness! I’m not Keith! I can’t just hate the world, if it makes me hate myself even more! I can’t ever be him! I won’t ever be him! I fucking tried. I tried so hard! Do you know how many times I’ve been in pain? How many times my life has been threatened and I had to live with that?!”

Keith scoffed and muttered something under his breath.

“ **_I’m sorry_ ** , could you repeat that for my dumb self?! Nobody has time to translate, right!?” Lance hissed at him, slamming his hands on the table. Not realizing he had gotten so close, Keith jumped and looked down in shame. “Well? I’m waiting, **_Kogane_ **.”

Keith looked down again, and tugged nervously at his sleeves. Maybe in shame, maybe because he couldn’t meet Lance’s eyes. “I, um, I said how could you have possibly been in more life and death situations than the rest of us…”

“It’s not about more! It’s about that it happened! I’m not trying to take Shiro’s spotlight or something fucking stupid like that! I died! I completely utterly died! In the depths of Blue’s cockpit, lightning struck me and I died! I was gone! I saw the light at the end of the tunnel! I was halfway up heavens steps! I don’t fucking know! All I know is that I was fucking dead.”

“You died?!”

“Yes, Pidge. I _died_.”

The team was silent for a moment before Keith started laughing, then settling into a grim smirk, a fire burning in his eyes. He was sure but unsure at the same time. “You died?! You?! No, you couldn’t have! You’re still here! I know you like attention, but this is taking it too far! Don’t you realize what this is doing to Shiro? I can’t believe you would make such a bad joke! I bet the rest of this is just a joke to you to.”

“He’s not lying… He’s telling the truth…” Allura said quietly, looking down at his hands. “During the Omega Shield, Blue was struck by lightning and Lance took most of the hit for her. She freaked out and flew straight back to the castle and called for me. I ran to her and revived him just in time…”

Another awkward silence filled the entire room. Each of the paladins absorbing all the new information. They didn’t say anything as Lance’s eyes turned cold and calculating. His mouth formed a straight line. Somehow, the dead look on in his eyes was scary than the fire burning just moments before.

“I’m done.”

“What do you mean?” Shiro said slowly, afraid of the answer.

Coran finally spoke up, with a knowing look in his eyes, “He’s leaving. He’s done.”

“Coran’s right. I’m done with Voltron. Allura can take my place. I don’t want to be here anymore. I can’t be with people who can’t be a team, much less anything more than that. I’m not even a person to them, just trash for them to kick in the the trash can. Over, and over, and over, and over again.”

“You can’t just-”

“Yes, yes I can. I’ve had my belongings packed. I’m done.”

“Wait, Lance, buddy…”

“No. I’m leaving tonight. I would appreciate it if you respect my wishes. Allura could you please wormhole to the nearest galaxy port? I’ll be out of your skin soon. The worthless fuck up who can’t shut his damn mouth will be gone. One more thing, I stopped being your buddy the day you forgot about me.”

“I.. I don’t want to but okay, Lance. I’ll do as you wish...”

“Wait, you can’t just- We were just- no!” Keith spluttered, looking for an excuse to say, something that would stop Lance from leaving, anything that would stop Lance from leaving. “You can’t just leave! You can’t run away and be even more useless! You’re sacrificing the entire universe for your selfish desires!”

“Why not? You did. And even after everything I’ve said, you still say that I’m being selfish?” Lance’s voice was still it’s deadly calm, one that was really scaring them all by now. It was a mask, and they couldn’t see his emotions, they couldn’t read them no matter how hard they tried. It was a stark difference from his usual laughter and light, and the way he would wear his emotions on his sleeve. But were those even his true emotions?

“That’s- That’s different! I didn’t- I couldn’t- I didn’t have a choice!”

“Yes, yes you did, and you made your choice. Now? I’m making mine.” With that, Lance turned and walked away. Ignoring the calls after him, the begging to just _listen_ to them. He was done listening, done listening to the poison coming from their throats.

Lance was gone the next morning.

Allura had dropped the castle off near a busy space mall for the time being and he had left in the night. Not bothering to say goodbye to anybody but Coran, not bothering to look back even once. After all, he didn’t regret turning away.

Keith said it was selfish, said it was unreasonable. That Lance was running away from responsibility, one that was important and the fate of the universe rested on it. But he secretly cried into his pillow at night. At that moment where Lance told him he made his choice, Keith realized that he would never get the same Lance back. Even if they crossed paths again, he would never be the same. Maybe it was meant to be this way, it was his fault Lance was like this. No, it was all of their faults.

Pidge was crushed that she lost another brother, she had always thought of him as a brother. She had always respected Lance, even if she hadn’t always shown it. She loved him like a brother. He was there when she lost her brother, secretly supporting her through everything. She had always suspected he knew more, his fake shock when she revealed she was a girl proved as much. She would find him, she would apologize, and hopefully, he would forgive her and be friends with her again, maybe even siblings again. But now, she needed to understand what he meant by “Take a long hard look at the way you’ve been treating me now and remember the past, Hunk, remember me.” she needed to know, and it all started with Hunk. She would find out even if it killed her, and it started with Lance’s former best friend, Tsuyoshi “Hunk” Garret.

Hunk felt like a terrible person for not realizing what he had done to his friend, he knew what Lance thought. Lance had told him, he just didn’t open his ears to listen. Back on Earth, they were best friends, buddies, and here they had grown apart to the point where they didn’t even talk more than meal times, training, and battles, and even then it was very limited. Still Hunk didn’t open his ears, his eyes, his mind to his best friend. He didn’t understand he was struggling, and Hunk, oh he was ready to get that back. He was ready to get Lance back. Hunk knew that Lance was angry with him, but based on what Lance said, Lance would be waiting for another chance, another reason, a moment where he can run back into Hunk’s waiting arms and they could be friends. Maybe even family.

Shiro felt like a failure, he hadn’t been there for Lance at all and he wasn’t there when Lance had felt so down. Shiro knew that Lance had looked up to him, saw him as his hero. But in reality, Shiro wasn’t anybody’s hero. He had failed his team, he had failed Earth, and most of all, he had failed Lance. Shiro would do anything to have those days where everything was calmer, prettier back. He would bring their blue paladin back home, they would bring their Lance back home.

Allura was grief-filled, losing Lance felt like losing Altea all over again. She blamed the team for not spotting his pain sooner, she blamed them for letting each other fall apart after Lance had left. But most of all, she blamed herself. She thought it was her fault that he had felt it necessary to leave. She thought it was her fault that they had lost such a precious member of the team.

Coran, Coran was the worst, and also the best. He had been there for Lance, he understood him. He didn’t have the guilt coursing through his veins, but he was angry. It wasn’t Keith’s explosive anger, but quiet festering anger. He was angry with how the paladins had treated Lance, he was angry that they didn’t try harder to keep him happy, he was angry that he had also failed to convince him to stay. And still, there was nothing to do. The bluest star, their precious blue paladin had been lost to them, and there was absolutely nothing that they could do.

 

*Epilogue*

*A Few Months Later*

Lance pulled down his hood, avoiding the gaze of a few suspicious aliens. He had been hearing gossip about Voltron coming back with flying colours and taking down everything and everyone in their path. Apparently, he had died in a major accident and Voltron had gathered quite a following. Planets were rebelling, and more and more people were getting free from Galra clutches. They were still searching for him, he had to avoid every mention of them otherwise he would be caught and turned over to them. Not that it matter, he was so close to finding it.

“Hey!! Do want buy food?”

“Nah, mate, fuck off.” It was a heavy Scottish accent, not that the aliens would have noticed, they probably had never even heard of Earth.

The busy market around him didn’t notice his dark aura, nobody did. Over the past few months, he had changed a lot. He had become somebody he wouldn’t have recognized when he was still happy. Still, things changed and when things changed, he moved along with the flow. He didn’t complain, he never did until it was bad. He would always work until he died. Where to start? Well what had been floating around the galaxy were three words, words that Lance could understand, Angelus autem mors, and he had finally found it. He was so close to the truth, just a little bit farther. Something had been drawing him to this particular start system, something mystical. Something that had changed him into… _this_ … He was going to find it if it was the last thing he did.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't hate Keith or the rest of the team... I swear. I just don't like him right now because of how mean he's being to Lance, but hey! That's just my opinion. oKaY can we all agree that season 8 was absolute dog shit,, and I really can't with it right now, it's taken literal months to recover and I've debated even putting this back up, but I did. That was a whole mess with the whole thing that happened but now we're back and hopefully Imma get my ass in gear and actually write this year. Whoa that rhymed


End file.
